So far I haven’t made it one day without seeing myself in the mirror. A few times, I just looked in a mirror that I passed by. When that happened, I felt shocked by my blunder. How could I do that? What a huge habit ingrained. I thought looking in the mirror would be easy to give up. Instead, I am totally frustrated!
The other problem is that mirrors are everywhere, and I forget to watch out for them. I go to the bathroom, and there is a mirror. I walk in a restaurant and there is a mirror. I have thought about staying home more where I can control my environment…but that doesn’t seem like a good solution.
Getting ready in the morning is still more fun. Less time. Less attention. I am thinking about even nixing makeup totally…I can’t see what I look like, so why bother? I do get frustrated that I can’t see the final result of fixing my hair…
There is an unease that goes deep. But it is an unease that is pushing me to see something on the inside… a quiet voice that is being heard from the depth of my soul. I can’t explain it fully yet, but I can feel it.
I am becoming more aware of the world of mirrors we live in. It seems like mirrors are coming at me from everywhere…like I’m in a game of Dodge Ball, but there are 100 places to dodge a day…
more later…gotta go to church.
I’ve never really done very well with going without something. I either pick something trivial, resent doing-without, or find it too temporary. The idea of adding something appealed to me as a more positive way to potentially create a good habit.
So I’m starting & ending each day with an “email to Jesus.” So far, it’s going well. There have been a couple of late evenings when thought I might be too tired, but it turned out to be “refreshing!”
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